


A Fenrir Cautionary Tale

by Teakay



Category: Werewolf: The Apocalypse
Genre: Alternate Mythology, Alternate Norse Religion & Lore, Blasphemy, Crack, Gen, Mpreg, Retelling, Values Dissonance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 09:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teakay/pseuds/Teakay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Garou take on human-told Norse mythology.</p>
<p><i>"Sadly, much was lost between what little of the truth the humans heard and what they wound up telling their children. [...] For one, they held that Loki, who was some sort of sorcerer or the like, birthed Great Fenris.</i> Ha! <i>As if his Mother Gaia would have lain with such a snake!"</i> – Krister Voice-of-Alfar, <i>Tribebook: Get of Fenris</i> (Revised Edition)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fenrir Cautionary Tale

**Author's Note:**

> I did not invent the term "octohorse."

_As told by Shawn Laukkanen, deed-named Glad-Of-War, fostern Get of Fenris Galliard, with commentary by packmate Anna Télessy, fostern Silver Fang Ragabash._

"So once, long before the binding of Great Fenris, there was a Ragabash called Loki Sky-Walker –" 

"Hee."

"– which was one of the nicer names for him, and he was the biggest Ragabash there ever was. He was such a big Ragabash he kept going over the line and then making up for it before he could get strung up. Eventually it didn't work anymore when he _really_ went over the line, but that was eventually.

"Before then, his favorite hobby was poking at the laws of the tribe and the Nation, looking for loopholes he could dick around with. Eventually he got around to the Litany. He read 'Garou shall not mate with Garou,' and he thought, 'well, the word is _mate_ , isn't it? Doing things that'll make babies? That means I can screw all the other Garou I want, as long as they're guys! Sweet!' Because back then people could already tell that when a guy and a girl got hot and heavy when they shouldn't have, even if they thought they were being careful, they still tended to end up with a baby metis and a lot of explaining to do."

"They hadn't invented blowjobs?"

"Anyway, then Loki went on a spree of the Garou guys that turned him on and he could talk into it. Which was more than you'd think, because he was famous for the tricks he could pull with his tongue." 

"I see what you did there."

"But what he didn't count on was just what Gaia and her servants could come up with when it came to smartasses. 

"And then Loki was pregnant."

" _Ha_!"

"The end. Thank you, thank you."

"... so, are you saying Fenris is a metis?"

"Wait, what?"

"Come on, I might not be as boned up as _you,_ Mr. Heathen, but I remember Loki was Fenris's dad. Okay, you're all the _Get_ of Fenris, so clearly the sterility thing didn't stick, but there's always adoption... Oh my God. Skywalker! 'Feeenriiiis, I am your father!'"

"Oh. Oh, God _damn_. Right, Mr. Heathen should've remembered _that_. I think we're going to have to start over."

"At least tell me the part with the octohorse was real. I mean, was the kid so metissed he came out a _horse_?"

"... I'll have to look that one up."


End file.
